Thursday, April 1, 1999

minutes from the house meeting

Brother ***, Athletic Chair, said he pissed off the intramural department, so this year, we won't be having a softball team. Apparently *** mistook their bag of softballs for giant marshmallows and ate half of them.

Brother ******, Pledge Chair, said that the pledges who walked out of the University's "Greek 101" seminar would be going to Ronald McDonald house to do community service. Their first task is to fix the chair that Brother ****** sat in when he was over there.

Brother ****** wondered how brothers could sleep at night after signing the anti-hazing agreement and then considering hazing. Others wondered how ****** could sleep at night with Brother ****'s half-naked, Jello-riffic fatbody snoring hardly four feet away.

Brother ********* promised to "restrain his animal feelings" in the aftermath of his behavior at the previous night's mixer with Chi Omega.

Decrying the injustice of having to view pasty chicken legs, Brother ** introduced a motion denying Brother **** the right to ever wear shorts again.

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